I don’t think i have talked about this much because i find it so hard to put in to words and ive tryed to block it out but here’s my story. I was bullied mentally and physically all through secondary school for 5 years straight by one guy in particular or if he was with a crowd they would join in. I was called fat and lazy all the time and they kept saying are you able to talk. I was beaten up almost everyday if the guy saw me at break time he would corner me and start shouting names at me and he would just start punching sometimes, sometimes not, pushing around i was in contant fear he would usually do this until i started to cry.
I very rarely tryed to fight back but he was too strong so i just learned to go along with. I was even beaten up and shouted names at if a teacher was out of the room so i was constantly terrified. I used to hide in the toilets for as long as i could even during classes to avoid him. all this time i had thought about killing myself i even had it worked out that i would take an overdose but i really just wanted to cry for help. I had absolutely no friends throughout school i talked to no one but even when i did i was told “shut up, you don’t talk”
I put up with until 5th year when i just got so depressed and couldn’t put up go to school anymore it just had all built up inside me i couldn’t get out of bed and stopped eating. I had never actually told anyone about and i couldn’t even tell my parents about it because i felt ashamed. My parents made me go to a doctor and i was put on meds and referred to a psychologist and that was the first time i talked about it to anyone. Eventually my parents decided to send me to a private school so i could do my leaving cert. I think this is pretty much what caused my sa and will always affect me